1 month later

So its been a month since i started my dreads, as well as starting up this blog again (after several failed attempts.) So as you can see my hair, compared to a month ago, looks pretty freaking nappy. But i have to admit that as bad as it looks, its getting there. It may not look it in the picture but its starting to dread.

I've finally managed to let it go to do its thing. That was one of the hardest parts. Ignoring it, leaving it alone, trying to rush it along. None of it worked in making it dread any faster, and in some cases, i think it may have made parts of it worse. But its slow and steady to win the race.

You know this reminds me of my walk with the Lord as well. I've been trying to change, trying to be a better man, a better husband, a better father. I've discovered that the harder i tried in the beginning the worse things got. The more i tried to change, the more i stayed the same. Now with that said, i haven't given up, at least not in the obvious sense. No, what i've done is given it over to God. I've realized i'll never be able to change on my own.

I'll never be able to be a "good" person. I'll never be able to be the man that i want to be. So in a sense i've given up. I've given myself over to God, and what i've found out is that the less i try, the more i change. The less i try, with try being the key word. We can try all we want, but we will never succeed. But with God all things are impossible. Jesus clearly says so in the gospels. Now i'm not saying don't do anything. I'm not saying to give up and expect God to do everything for you. But quit trying to change. Instead, read the bible, pray, and be open to the Lord working on your heart and mind.

Speaking of reading the bible and praying, I'll have to admit, i haven't been as adamant as i would have hoped. I try to pray regularly, in fact it try to remain in constant prayer, but the bible reading has not really started up the way i had planned. I admit i've dropped the ball on that part. But hopefully soon, i can post differently. I just pray for the Lord to keep changing my heart and mind, and that He would give me the desire, the want to read the bible, to study His word and to learn it. The Lord says that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we could move mountains. Well i want that kind of faith. Lets see how it turns out.

In constant prayer,

Average James